


Oncie and The Sewer Clowns

by epiconcelergamer69696969



Series: Oncie and the Sewer Clowns [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Scooby Doo - All Media Types, Shrek (Movies), The Lorax (2012), The Lorax - Dr. Seuss, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gift for a friend, M/M, Onions, im so sorry, sans suspiciously knows the length of oncie's knee hair, shaggy is bad, they make a band
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 10:03:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21116936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epiconcelergamer69696969/pseuds/epiconcelergamer69696969
Summary: Oncie is recovering from a devastating breakup. A handsome stranger thinks joining a band might help.





	Oncie and The Sewer Clowns

**Author's Note:**

  * For [A_Random_Person_11037](https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Random_Person_11037/gifts).

Oncie was sitting on his bed with his boyfriend, Shaggy. THey were having a fun date looking at pictures of elbows on Shaggy’s phone. 

“This is such a perfect date babe,” Oncie said softly, “I never want to stop looking at pictures of elbows with you.”

“I feel the same way. Sorry I had to cancel yesterday. I had to help my mom with something. You’re the only one I ever want to look at pictures of elbows with. I love you.” Shaggy stood up “bye oncie I have to go pee.” he left Oncie alone on his bed holding his phone. 

“All right,” oncie replied, “ i’ll just look at elbows solo style until you get back. Have a nice time.”

A few minutes after Shaggy had left, there was a notification on his phone. Now, Oncie usually isnt one to read someone else’s text meseges, but the phone was right in front of his face. He simply couln’t help himself.

The contact that was texting Shaggy was called “Bae” and had lots of heart emojis after it. Oncie’s name is Shaggy’s phoen was “Once-ler.” no heart emojis after. THe text bae sent to Shaggy said this: “Hey Babe what’s up? I had such a great time looking at elbows with you yesterday ;) maybe we can do even more next time. Love u!” 

Oncie was confused. WHo was this stranger texting HIS boyfriend?? Why did they say they were looking at elbows with shaggy when shaggy had told oncie he was helping his mother all day? Then Shaggy came back.

“Hey babe is evereything alright? You seem bothered by something.” shaggy said.

Oncie didnt know what to say. “Sh-sh-sh-shaggy?? Who is this? What’s going on?” he held the phone up so SHagy could see it. Shaggy’s face went as pale as a ghost that fell in an industrial sized bucket of white paint at the white paint factory. 

“I Have to go! Be right back Oncie!” shaggy said loudly. Then he ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Oncie remained on the bed, trying to process what he had just learned. He sat there for nearly half an hour, completly stunned. Then a bird flew into his face. What the heck? There was a note tied to the bird. It said: “I think we should see other people - Shaggy.” It was then that Oncie starteed crying. How could shaggy do this? Werent they in love? Or was that just some trick? 

~ ~ ~ one week later ~ ~ ~

Oncie glanced around the coffee shop, slowly sipping his drink. It was a quiet saturday evening, and oncie was finally starting to feel ok again without shaggy. He deciede to take some time for himself Today he was people watching at the coffee shop. The shop was mostly empty except for a few people with computers and one strange woman with a crow mask at the counter trying - and failing - to order a coffee. 

“I already told you corbeau,” the barista said, “you are banned from The Coffee Place. You can’t just give all our customers the plague because you didn’t want to wait in line and then seduce the barista and expect to not get banned. Get out of here before I call the police.” 

“Just make me a coffee. Make me a coffee or I’m giving you the plague. I want a double latte mocha with three shots of vanilla and spray cheese.” 

“Fine, but I want you out of here immediatly after.”

“Fine.” Corbeau got her coffee and left. 

Oncie wasn’t sure what just happened, but he knew not to mess with whoever that was.

Then Oncie saw another curious stranger enter the coffee shop. He was a short skeleton wearing a jacket. He also had one winking eye and he was kind of cute? “No,” oncie thought, “I can’t do this. The whole Shaggy thing is too recent. I can’t be thinking about bony coffee shop strangers like that…” Oncies was snapped out of his daydream by someone standing in front of him, looking him right in the eyes. It was the very same man he had been staring at before. Oncie blushed.

“Hello there,” the man said, “you look like you could use a drink.” He set a large coffee on the table in front of Oncie. “I’m Sans by the way. Sans the skeleton.”

Oncie was too shocked to speak. What was going on? Couldn’t Sans see that Oncie already had a drink? And why had he just come over to him out of nowhere?? Oncie looked up at Sans and replied “Thank you Sans but i alredy have a coffee.” without blinking Sans picked up the coffee and threw it out the open coffee shop window. 

“Anyway here’s my number. Call me sometime ;)?” Sans handed Oncie a menu with his phone number written on the back. It was written in comic sans (lol). When Oncie looked up Sans had disapeared. He had no idea that Sans was hiding behind a conviently shaped lamp for dramatic effect.

Oncie was sitting on the couch in his appartment. He decided now would be a good time to text Sans. He pulled his phone out of his nose and entered in Sans’ phone number. 

Oncie: Hey Sans, this is Oncie

Sans: Who?

O: It’s Oncie

S: I don’t know a Oncie?

O: The guy you bought a coffee for at the coffee shop yesterday.

S: Oh yeah! I forgot to ask what your name was. Opps.

S: So anyways, you play guitar right?

O: yeah I do! How did you know that? Have you been stalking me or something? 

S: No, nothing like that. It’s just… guitar players always have knee hair that is ¼ inch long. I knew because of that

O: but you couldn’t see my knee hair?? I was wearing pants

S: oh don’t worry ;) sans always knows the length of your knee hair ;) ;););)

O: im gonna pretend you didn’t just say that…

S: that’s not the point. I gave you my number because i want you to join my band. Our guitar player just got dead so we need a new one. What do you think? We would need you to do guitar and some vocals. I play drums and my friend pennywise plays keyboard. We just need you and someone to do bass guitar. What do you think? And remember, this is a oncie in a lifetime oppurtunity. Pun intended hehe. 

Oncie thought about this for a moment. Is joining a band right now really a good idea? He’s been dealing with some stuff lately. And sans seems kind of suspicious. But also...kinda hot… Maybe joining a band was exactly what he needed! He could clear his head, make some friends, and it would give him a chance to play his guitar for people. And he knew exactly who he could get to play bass guitar! His old college roomate, Shrek, played bass. He was a nice guy, as long as you didn’t mind the smell of onions. Yes, even onion scented condoms. dont ask Oncei how he knows that.

O: I’ll do it. I’ll join your band! And i have a pretty good idea of who i can ask to play bass. 

S: wonderful! I think we’re going to get along splendidly ;)

Then oncie texted shrek.

O: hey dude what’s up? Remember how you always wanted to be in a band. Well guess what? We’re joining one! Come over to my place tomorow.

Shrek: things are absolute shit right now oncie. Fiona’s divorcing me. She says shes tired of me putting onions in her nose while she’s sleeping. Something about “don’t put onions in my nose while im sleeping shrek. Its a bad idea and it always wakes me up. I hate it and i hate you. Im leaving you for herobrine. Goodbye” or whatever. Anyway, joining a band sounds great. There’s no way my life can get any worse so why not! See you tomorrow.

The next day, Oncie got together with Sans, Shrek, and Pennywise. Pennywise was pretty intimdating. Shrek had brought a giant sack full or onions and was eating them like popcorn. Sans was warming up on the drums. When he noticed Oncie was looking, he licked the cymbal seductively. Oncie blushed. They started to warm up by playing Sweatshirt by Jacob Sartorius. Surprisingly, they sounded good. After playing sweatshirt for 2 hours straight they got tired and decided to walk over to the coffee show for drinks. 

All four of them stood over a giant manhole cover. “Haha,” sans said, “let’s all take a picture of us standing over this manhole cover. Its very largee.” so they all stood on the comically large manhole cover. Suddednly, it fell out from under them, plunging them into deep deepd eeep darkness. 

“What’s going on??” Oncie cried, “ Where are we?”

“AHahaha,” Pennywise laughed, “we are in the sewer. This is my home. I lure children down here with balloons. This is also where i wash my toes. Thats the smell. Actually, that’s probably just the sewage.”

Oncie turned around in horror . he was inthe sewer. “How the hECk are we gonna get out of here? MY ONions are UP THERe!” shrek said. “DOnt woRRY” sans said “Well get out of here. Pennywise knows how to get out.”

“Acyually…. This is a different part of the sewer than where I usually go. I have no idea where we are. “ they all started to cry knowing they would die in the sewer and rats would eat their bones. Then oncie saw someting out of the corner of his eye. Could it be? YEs! It was arope ladder!! But how did it get there?

“DOn’t worry Oncie!” a familiar voice said “I’m getting you and your friends out of there.”

THey all climbed up the rope ladder and Oncie could finally see who was there. It was Steve from Marvel!! He was HERE!! Oncie hugged him. 

“Than k you Steve. “

“No problem Oncie. After the time we spent in Costco all those hours ago… I knew I would never forget you. BUt why were you in the sewer? Dont tell me you were catching cockroaches again?”

“Haha no it wasn’t anything like that. We’re in a band, you see, and we were trying to take a group picture when we fell into the sewer haha”

“Wow that’s so cool! What’s your band callled? I would love to see you play sometime.”

Oncie and the others all looked at eachotehr. Then they nodded in agreement. 

“We are called……….Oncie and the Sewer CLowns!!”

END

**Author's Note:**

> please comment owo


End file.
